Andrew recently grew
a face beard and a set of leg beards, so we recruited him for our team. Born in England, spent his wee years in Scotland, and raised in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, Andrew has found a suitably grey, dreary home in the Pacific Northwest.
- used to skate, mann
- most likely to sandbag the B’s
- 2007 Time Out Chicago “Boldest” (a.k.a. most reckless) Bicycle Messenger
- -INFJ – The Protector
Chistopher spends long hours working in the garage… as an IT engineer. In addition to building his dream data warehouse, Chris Ryan has any number of interests that don’t include road racing, for example: snowboarding, honeymooning in Paris, futsal, etc.
- lives in Bend pretty much whenever he wants
- coaches high school snowboarding
- tried his hand at 24 hour solo racing. Vomited a dry cloud of Hammer Perpetuem around 4 AM and then passed out in a patch of poison oak. Decided that style of racing was not his thing.
- tried riding coast to coast on a 93 Gary Fisher Tassajara built from the CCC parts bin and a couple of fancier bits. Gave up on the ride, barely 80 miles from the Maine coast at a Dr Dog show. Parted out the bike upon returning to Portland and, thinking back, didn’t even stick around for Dr Dog that final night.
- -INTJ – “The Scientist”
“Me ask you question? Why everyone in Portland loves me?”
Well, Cristina, let us TELL YOU WHY:
- incessantly positive
- never complains
- strong as hell with no ego
- has adorable foreign accent
- raced (and completed) Trans Iowa on a single speed
- won the OBRA Women’s Prestige Series in the Cat. 3s.
- frequently talks to strangers
- ESTJ – The Guardian
No shirt, no gears, no problem.
“Shirtless Dan” first impressed us with his imposing, naked torso at PIR Short Track, then with his skills on the cyclocross course, then his bonfire-jumping abilities.
- classically-trained tromboner
- can play Metallica’s “One” note-for-note on the guitar
- ITSP – “The Mechanic”
All-knowing, never out of his Element, DANIEL GONZALEZ is the Team Director of Creative Projects and “team dad” – generous with a ride to the race or a one-on-one talk about “man issues.”
- lives life in ALL CAPS
- Masters degree in film
- made some good decisions in the 90s
- owns Honda Element
- invented the fixed-gear
- is his own mechanic
- -ESTJ “The Guardian”
If David Boerner had his way, he would be mountain biking the Western American wilderness on a rigid single-speed held together by zip-ties with only a supply of canned, smoked oysters for provisions. …On second thought: he’d probably come back once he realized there was no WiFi.
- builds his own tents
- tie-dyes his own underwear
- 2012 & 2014 Blind Date at the Dairy Single Speed Series Champ
- rode a fixed-gear across Europe
- -ENFP – “The Inspirer”
Once upon a time, the Ruckus Test Team would meet for our Saturday rides at an inner SE industrial coffee shop where Erica worked as a barista. Over weeks and months, we learned that Erica was a track racer, a tandem enthusiast, a pitbull lover, and a partner to that Stephen guy we often saw crashing during cross races. We’ve been proud to have her on board as a teammate and we’re looking forward to many vegan group dinners in the future.
- Met Stephen because of Deep-Vs
- Former equestrian
- Jens Lekman wrote a song about her (Erica America)
Erin joined the Test Team on the exclusive condition that she would never have to race and she’s held up her promise perfectly. Erin spends her time shredding unknown ridgelines, taking photos of raccoons in trash cans, and fighting for police accountability. An old Ruckus Test Team legend says, if you say the word “Playman” three times to a mirror at midnight you’ll be blessed with an unlimited supply of punctured tubes to patch at your disposal (but you’ll never patch them, let’s be honest).
- Owner of not one but TWO novelty Instagram accounts
- Challenging Tyler for “most bikes that aren’t ready to ride right now.”
- Doesn’t bail out. Bails IN.
Sometimes the best teammates are the ones who never race. They don’t bore you with stories about getting dropped. They don’t try to race you up every hill. They don’t use your tubes or need a ride in your Element. Sometimes the best teammates are the ones who are just there for the afterparty.
- Ruckus Composites CCO (Carbon Cowboy of Operations)
- official longest beard owner
- former Bell Hop National Champion
- likes to: Party Hard, Get Wet, Party til he Pukes, Live in the Red, Love New York City
Jason has worn many different helmets over years: Seattle bike messenger, polo player, bikepacking gravel tour operator, and now 30-something white dude in the singlespeeds. Always up for a post-work Forest Park cruise or a weekend of finding yourself in the woods, Jason injects some much-needed “can-do” spirit into our team’s milquetoast milkshake.
- Challenging Tyler for most bikes
- Most likely to ride with a BB gun
- Voted “Most-Prepared Chef,” “Outstanding Shuttle Operator” and “Best Barista on a Rock” (our only three awards) on the 2016 Ruckus Test Team Mystery Point Campout
We were intrigued by Johhny’s Instagram feed, but we became infatuated by his unzipped-jersey riding style.
No matter the weather, no matter the season, the fully unzipped jersey #ridelikejohnny look is always in fashion.
- now our fourth Blind Date at the Dairy leaders jersey holder
- somehow always perfectly clean – even when filthy
- almost seven months into the year, he still hasn’t raced once (but who’s counting?)
- most likely to be found on a Sisyphean climbing odyssey in the West Hills
Krissy has been a friend of the team for a long time and in the past year, we’ve been lucky to add her to our roster in a joint deal with the Green Subs. To pass the long winters, Krissy can often be found working the Green Line at the Lumberyard, infinitely refining her lines and technique to perfection. Between her enthusiasm for life, hard working attitude, and friendliness to all, Krissy is a true outlier on the Ruckus Test Team.
- Never not smiling
- Seems to ride with some guy named Joe a lot
- Won a Cross Crusade race
From the mean Chicago fixed gear scene to the mean Portland Alpenrose scene, Lara has never strayed far from the track bike. She currently spends her days at the North American HQ of a certain European-based shoe company, probably hanging out with Damian Lillard and Kanye West.
- Rhymes with “Sarah”
- Most likely to design her own socks
- Capable of designing and stitching any apparel or bag
Lee Ordonez’s single-speed cyclocross career was born in a kooky manger called “Eugene”—nursemaided by three wise and scantily-clad men named Luke Demoe, Geoff Huber and Sal Collura. Lee was insulted, run into the tape, and had his ass slapped repeatedly, but he came out a hulking chunk of speed and sinew. Today he splits his time between spinning a 42×16 gear extremely fast, making bizarre animated digital art, and putting his muscular physique to work as a part-time Chippendale dancer.
- Not to be confused with Sal
- ENTP – “The Visionary
- Series winner, 2014 GPRT
- Though “not a climber” has some climbing KOMs
Marayah is the rare Ruckus Test Team member who can actually answer a question about carbon fiber repair when approached at a cross race. A savant at track, cyclocross, and mountain biking, Marayah racks up big miles and big instagram likes. Perhaps our most sartorially competent member, Marayah brings a breath of fresh air to the team.
- Has ridden more features at Syncline than any other RTT member
- Technically gifted. Races track anyway.
- Raced and won the most races of anyone on the Ruckus Test Team in 2016
Paul is that teammate who shows up on a heavy, janky, overly-suspended bike and somehow does super well. In addition to being a natural, Paul has ridden BMX from a young age, so he can pretty much huck/jump/hop anything. And he founded our sponsor bag maker, Blaq Paks.
- personal Ruckus seamstress
- only teammate to still never have responded to the listserve (edit: he broke)
- Not afraid to descend deep gravel FS roads on 25mm Gatorskins
- Also not afraid to pinch flat twice within a single descent
- Never trains
- Still faster than you
Ride anything in the West hills on any evening and you’ll probably run into Richard. Richard is a Test Team lifer. He’s been with us since day one and we guess he’ll be making Council Crest runs long after the rest are old and brittle.
- rode 7,236 miles in 2013
- toured in the currently contested region of Crimea
- just won a race yesterday*
- has a dedicated doo-rag drawer
- has spent more hours racing PIR than some of our members have spent riding a bike.
*this will probably be accurate enough any time
Shawn was born in a manger in rural Wisconsin and greeted by three wise engineers, bearing Space Bucks, carbon fiber sheets, and an electric sander. Little Shawn was bound for great things.
- most likely to go public
- lactose-intolerant son of a dairy farmer
- has never won a race
- frequently encouraging teammates to buy new parts, claiming that “it only costs, what, 70 bucks?” (actual price: $184.97)
- -ENTJ – “The Executive”
Stephen Laurent dove into racing head-first and yes we do mean that he literally crashed head-first into the ground frequently and spectacularly. He’s got grit, determination, and a chip on his shoulder — just our type!
- Recently upgraded from racing cyclocross on a 1970s touring bike
- Between track and Blind Date at the Dairy, 75% of his races are at Alpenrose
- Not afraid to wear his normal glasses in the A race.
- INTJ – “The Scientist”
Tyler Bump has a locker at city hall and major sway with the NWTA. Mr. Bump spends his days as a slick City Hall insider, greasing palms and kissing babies. But he spends his nights in Forest Park, “commuting” home to St. Johns with 1000 lumens on his head and 24 ounces in his coozie.
- most likely to run for mayor
- owns 13 bicycles (2 in working condition)
- middle finger braker
- has spent more time lost in the woods by himself on a single-speed than on group rides
- 3rd place, Six Hours of Mount Hood, Open Single Speed